I CAME HOME FROM WORK ONE EVENING
HER BAGS WERE SITTIN' BY THE DOOR
I ASKED MY WIFE WHAT WAS THE MATTER
WHAT WERE ALL THE SUITCASES FOR?

SHE SAID IN CASE WE GO ON VACATION
SHE'D BE ALL PACKED AND SET TO GO.
I BELIEVED HER EXPLANATION
HOW WAS I TO KNOW?

I WENT UPSTAIRS TO THE BEDROOM.
THE LIGHTS WERE OUT, THERE WAS NO POWER
THERE WERE CANDLES EVERYWHERE
AND A STRANGE MAN IN OUR SHOWER.

SHE SAID HE WAS OUR ELECTRICIAN
I ASKED HER WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
SHE SAID HE WORKED UP SUCH A SWEAT
THAT HE HAD TO GET CLEAN.

WE HAD OURSELVES A ROMANTIC DINNER
SPAGHETTIOS FROM A CAN
JUST ME AND MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE
AND THIS OTHER GUY NAMED STAN.

AFTER DINNER WE WATCHED A MOVIE
THE SCARLET LETTER WAS ON TV
MY WIFE SAID SHE LIKED HESTER PRYNNE
AND I DIDN'T THINK WHAT IT MEANT TO ME.

SHE AND STAN GOT UP TO MAKE POPCORN
SO WE COULD HAVE OURSELVES A SNACK
I WAITED THERE FOR THREE MORE HOURS
AND SHE NEVER DID COME BACK.

SIX MONTHS LATER I GOT A LETTER
SHE AND STAN HAD IT HARD
THEY HAD BEEN ALL OVER EUROPE
BUT HAD MAXED OUT MY GOLD CARD.

SO I REHEATED THAT POPCORN
A THING YOU'RE NEVER SUPPOSED TO DO
IT TURNED ALL BLACK AND TASTED LOUSY
I SUSPECTED I'D BEEN SCREWED.

UP TO THAT POINT, I'D BEEN HOPING
THAT SHE'D WALK THROUGH THAT KITCHEN DOOR
MAYBE I'M BECOME A LITTLE BITTER
BUT AT LEAST I'M NOT A WHORE.



Hear a sample

Back

© 2001 Bitter Tunes Music